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star wars..... hmm

(written on) May 4th 2025. posting this on (revenge of) the 5th of May.

Today is Star Wars day - i think i want to talk about my relationship with star wars. Its a weary broken one. Long story short - I couldn't care less about star wars anymore. but for some reason I've been thinking about star wars again. not in a intense manner (thank god).

I was going to write this in depth entry about star wars but i kept getting distracted with other stuff and now i dont really care to write this all out. so i'll try to shorten it as much as i can.

Okay so I got into Star wars when I was 11 years old I remember it was due to me finally paying attention to the clone wars TV show (2008) because at the time that was the only Star wars visual media that was actively being produced and worked on (apart from the video games)

There isn't much I can or should add because I just wanted to talk about how I used to love Star wars. Star Wars was my everything between the ages of 11 and 15 and I was so happy that I was alive, or at least, conscious enough to go to the cinema and watch a Star Wars trilogy. When the sequel trilogy was announced I was so happy. I finally got to the cinema every few years and watch a Star Wars film. but I noticed something after Disney bought Star wars, something that made me begin to lose a little bit of that love.

image break.....

⬆ the star wars website in 2000

it started with rogue one - I remember when it came out and i did not care about it. The first time something star wars related that i genuinely didn’t care to see. that's when I realized, i was getting early-onset star wars fatigue. In years past, Star wars films would come out every few years (approx. 3 years). Then Disney came along and basically gives Star wars films the marvel treatment - where a film is released every year. I felt the same way about the Han Solo film too.

And I understand, It was a great way to looking into the huge universe that is the galaxy far far away, but i also remember thinking “that's what the comics, books and video games are for?”. But I get it, a movie is not a book, a movie is not a video game, it's one of the more accessible art forms for people and it's also just intriguing to see more of this world on a huge screen with cool VFX and other bits of movie magic.

But it wasn’t just the corporation that put me off star wars - it was also that dreaded fandom. So horribly bigoted - the fans with the loudest voices, which happen to be cis het white men, take up so much space in the fandom its so hard to ignore what new racist, misogynistic or homophobic thing they’re going to spew out next. Any marginalized person showing up in anything to do with star wars gets harassed and bullied to such extreme points. There are actors who have had schizophrenia induced because of the harrassment (Jake Lloyd, the actor who portrayed young Anakin in the Phantom Menace. he was a child at the time and children are a marginalised class of people!) , suicide attempts (Ahmed Best, the actor who portrayed Jar Jar Binks), and people getting physically sick from the stress of it all (Daisy Ridley and Kelly Marie Tran). And not to mention the horrific racial abuse pretty much every non white actor has had to endure? No wonder why John Boyega wants nothing to do with star wars anymore. These people are vicious!!!

A fandom should not be the cause of me disliking something, I know that. But its just. So hard trying avoid all the horrible things people say. I’ve noticed star wars fans seem to hate anything new. I was so surprised when people began to change their minds on whether the prequels were actually “that bad” because they didn’t like the sequel trilogy. And I’m sure if another trilogy is made (which there will be, im sure of it) The sequel trilogy will get its apologia retrospective too. Its one boring, annoying cycle. And I will definitely get into my thoughts on the star wars skywalker saga as a whole one day, but this entry is already too long.

But back to the main point. Star Wars fatigue and the fandom are the reason for my lack of care for it. The thing about “too much Star wars” is it feels so absurd even saying that because star wars has always been a huge franchise. it's been oversaturated since the 80s really. Star wars has always been around. there has been an abundance of star wars merch no matter where you went. if something exists there was a Star wars version of it. but it was never to the point where people were constantly talking about it because there weren't that many movies or shows to warrant or start the conversation? it was just something that just exists.

Star Wars was my everything and sometimes I get a little sad that I no longer care for it. but after the rise of Skywalker and seeing the huge line up of TV shows Disney had lined up for it I just couldn't do it anymore. rise of skywalker was not a good film. the TV shows did not interest me. enough was enough.

This star wars day (may 4th), I decided to engage with star wars on my own terms. don't look on any forums or social media. just open up the wookiepedia or play a CYOA and try to enjoy myself. and funnily enough I DID!

Star Wars has so much interesting lore and world-building, I don't need to interact with the fandom to enjoy it. Speaking of which, I think I'm going to try and watch the Acolyte, read some of the expanded universe books and comics and try to get some older star wars games - probably something like knights of the old republic.

The Acolyte in particular is and was so intriguing to me - it had a huge hate campaign from a group of people you can probably guess had a issue with it. it made me want to wait for all the noise to die down before watching it - I mean Disney has cancelled it anyway, caving in to #those people and honestly cancelling it because disney likes to sabotage their own properties and work they believe will get backlash (cough NIMONA cough).

I also believe the Acolyte focuses on those who are neutral in this universe? not jedi, not sith but in the middle. which I think is a really interesting perspective to focus on. it's definitely something I've been thinking about too lately

I kept hearing the show was basically “lesbian star wars fanfic” and people kept going on about the lesbian who conceived babies through the force. And as much as I want to fight it - it's appealing to me in ways I wish I didn't. I also saw a clip where Amandla Stenberg’s character cuts their dreads with their lightsaber and 11 year old me would screamed!!! I think my inner child was screaming. that is some shit I would've written in a shitty star wars self insert fanfic at that age (affectionate).

So I might be on a star wars kick for a while. it will probably die soon though because I'm still not a huge star wars fan anymore. but I'm glad I got to rediscover the love I have for this.